Yesterday we were lazy In the afternoon, we watched the clouds roll in – the wind can rattle the leaves, but the clouds slide silently and smoothly, breaking apart, bumping into each other, piling higher and higher until they cover the sky.
In the evening, we succumbed to TV. We’d been without it for I think two months. Till Saturday. We had managed to postpone calling SKY to come and check it out for an unbelievably long time, proud that we were not TV addicts as we procrastinated dealing with the repair service. Which you can get in English. Hah.
We got lost in Clear and Present Danger with Harrison Ford and were pretty well glued to the when the doorbell rang. Let’s leave it, we said to each other. But it rang again, longer. And then again. The doorbell sounds like a chain saw. Must be the kids looking for their ball, we decided. We return it to them only once a night, and this was going to be it. I opened the gate, ball in hand. There were the kids. But also a neighbor was pressing in with her sister who was visiting from DF.
“I have to ask you a favor,” my neighbor said. “My sister would like to see your garden and the view.” Our neighbor is a small, intelligent woman with two boys and her elderly mother whom she supports pretty much on her own. Her sister, plump and maybe in her sixties, had seemed pushy the only time I’d met her, but I really didn’t have any reason to pass judgment. She did seemed better off – she and the young man who’d brought her after all had a car that worked.
“Sure,” I said to our neighbor. “But we’re right in the middle of a really tense movie. Why don’t you just walk around by yourselves?” I gave them a pair of scissors and a couple of small plastic bags for cuttings and told them just to leave the scissors on the hood of the car, apologized for being so abrupt and told her I’d see her during the week.
So Jim and I got back into the movie. Maybe ten minutes later, we were amazed to see our door handle turn and the neighbor’s sister push her way in, our neighbor and her son in tow. The sister had filled her arms not just with cuttings but with plants pulled up by their roots She filled the living room, talking non-stop as she looked in doors and out over the balcony. It became clear she wanted us to invite her to watch the movie with us. I explained that Jim wasn’t really feeling well. He started to say he felt fine now. I could have put tape over his mouth! Our neighbor mostly stood by quietly. I’ve never had this experience before. I managed to be polite as I eased them out, thinking of office rules: smile but don’t sit if you don’t want someone to stay, etc. but I really wanted to say something like what the hell do you think you’re doing, barging in like that? Normally we have the opposite situation: people hold back until we make it very clear that they are welcome. Was the sister behaving oddly? Was I?
I have this sensation of often having to negotiate borders with people, that we are testing each other’s limits, that our cultures do read some behaviors quite differently. I will have to talk to my friend Mári up the street about this.
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